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Star Wars Hot Wheels Carships designed by Dima!
…designed these three Star Wars Carships for Hot Wheels (including a fourth one I couldn’t find), so go out and pick them up today.

Grey’s new toys… after she turns three,

-Shady

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

“I get the reference. Star Trek, right?”

– KB, after Robyn made a Jar Jar Binks joke, 6/3/16

She’s obviously never seen a Star Wars movie,

-Shady

GOBACHEK TRADING CARD!

…but somehow Erik and Robyn tracked down this ultra-rare trading card for KB!

Gobachek’s mythos continues to grow,

-Shady

The shorter one also waited around in the bathroom while his friend finished taking a shit. Because, you know... THAT'S not creepy.

Here are three easy steps to do just that:

1. Own a Star Wars character backpack.

2. Own a Darth Vader helmet with Mickey Mouse ears.

3. Walk around Epcot all day long wearing the above two items with your buddy who also is walking around Epcot wearing the very same thing.

The force is… something or other with these two,

-Shady

…but I’ve seen Return of the Jedi a few times in my life.

Last night, our friends had it on during a Food Night they were hosting.

In the scene where Luke, Han, and the rest of the gang get snatched up in the Ewoks’ net in the middle of the forrest, I noticed something I had never seen before. I’m not sure what it was supposed to be, but for a brief second, as the net is spinning around, you catch a glimpse of something that looks like… well, to be honest, I’m not sure what it looks like.

My best guess would be that it looks like someone shoved a pair of monster dentures into a white-tailed deer’s asshole, and then Super Glued two googly eyes on either side of the tail.

Here, take a look for yourself:

Deer asshole with monster dentures and googly eyes!

If that’s not what it is, I have a full head of hair.

Those movies were way more low-budget than I thought,

-Shady

Back when I was living in Columbus, Ohio my friends and I started a quote wall. Whenever a bit of brilliance (or otherwise) poured out of someone’s mouth, somebody would yell “Quote!” thus nominating it for Quote Board status. The quote then had to be seconded by someone (it almost always was), and then it would be written down to be forever immortalized on the Quote Board.

This is the modern day equivalent of that classic piece of my past.

QUOTE BOARD:

Justin: “I always liked that guy. Admiral Ackbar. Oh, and Pussy Lips.”

Kathy: “Wait… that’s not a real character, is it?”

– Kathy, who has never seen Return of the Jedi before, 12/1/13

She’s a keeper,

-Shady

PS: In her defense, we were talking about Nien Nunb:

Pussy Lips

…tackles Star Wars’ “Imperial March.”

I hope there are more coming,

-Shady

Click here to learn more and watch a brilliant video that my good friend Jeremy R. Scott put together.

George Lucas has been milking the one original idea he ever had for decades now and even that idea doesn’t hold up over time and I don’t give a flying fuck if I just offended a bunch of you because, you know what, I’ve never even seen “The Empire Strikes Back” all the way through because I always fucking fall asleep before Luke and the gang leave Snow Planet or whatever the fuck it’s called because, I’m sorry, it’s a fucking boring movie even if everyone on Earth think it’s the best out of the batch… that’s like trying to pick the least stinky turd out of the bowl,

-Shady

Want proof? Check out these three books that the fine folks at Scholastic sent my way for review:

Star Wars: ABC
If you know me at all you know I’m not a Star Wars fan. Not only am I not a fan, but I haven’t even seen all of the original trilogy (I still can’t get through “The Empire Strikes Back.” I know, I know: “It’s the best one.” Whatever, it’s BORING!), let alone the three nightmares that followed over the last decade. But with that being said, this young-reader picture book is fun for kids. Each page features a letter of the alphabet along with a Star Wars visual comparison. You know: C is for C-3PO. E is for Ewok. You get the picture. Kids will eat it up, which is exactly why I gave it to my nephew. Hopefully he’ll enjoy it for the next few years and then move on to something else because, you know, N is for Nerd, and V is for Virgin.

Star Wars: Millennium Falcon 3-D Owners’ Guide
Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon may not be real but you wouldn’t know it based on this book. This interactive and technical guide peels away the Falcon layer by layer revealing the gadgets, gizmos and inner workings of the franchise’s best vehicle. Okay, that’s not entirely true because everyone knows the speeder bike is Star Wars’ coolest vehicle, but whatever. The book is geared toward younger kids, but because of its attention to detail it can be appreciated by people as old as the age of living-in-my-mom’s-basement-and-working-at-Wendy’s. The “3-D” in the title may be a little misleading; you don’t need a pair of red-and-blue glasses to enjoy the book. Instead, the Falcon is “built” down into the book in a three-dimensional way so that when you turn a page a layer of the vehicle is peeled off, revealing the next layer beneath. When I was a kid this would have impressed the hell out of me. Now, as a balding 33-year-old man… yeah, it’s still pretty fun.

Ghostopolis by Doug TenNapel
Doug TenNapel (creator of Earthworm Jim) is back with this original graphic novel that takes readers to the world of the dead. Let me set it up for you: Frank Gallows wrangles ghosts from the world of the living back to Ghostopolis. When one of his ghost busts goes wrong and Gallows accidentally brings a living child, Garth Hale, to the afterlife with him, he soon discovers that Hale possess special powers. Of course, this doesn’t bode well with the evil rulers of Ghostopolis. And then the real adventure begins! Unlike a lot of graphic novels today, Ghostopolis is a unique story that hasn’t been told before. TenNapel’s cartoon background brought this book to life for me, literally, as I could see many of the scenes playing out as if they were animated. (Don’t be surprised when that becomes a reality.) Similar in tone and look to his earlier OGNs (Tommysaurus Rex, Monster Zoo, etc.), TenNapel repeats his previous success with this interesting story of the afterlife.

S is for,

-Shady

…has a younger sister named Cody.

Years ago, I shot her high school senior photos. Today, she appeared as Princess Leia in this short from the New York City-based comedy troupe Improv Everywhere.

Here are a couple of shots of Cody from the mission.

Learn more about this mission from Improv Everywhere here.

All growns up,

-Shady

Old Poop!