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…in the last two weeks. Obviously.

First of all, Wi-Fi is about what you’d expect in Thailand. Pretty scarce. But also, our trip was a much needed break from everything, including “The Blarg.”

I figured the site’s traffic would be low while I was gone. I was wrong.

On Wednesday, November 7th, the site had its best traffic day ever with 35,237 visitors. The day before was the site’s second best day with 34,360 visitors. Both days got their boost when someone posted a link to my Mickey Mouse suicide post on Reddit.

The new high shatters the previous best-day total by nearly 18,000 visits. (In June of last year, Nirvana linked to “The Blarg” on its Facebook page.) In fact, the new one-day high beats any entire month total ever achieved in the history of the site.

So thanks to whoever posted that link on Reddit! I owe you one. Or, more accurately, 35,237.

Clearly, I should post less often,


…and parked on the top level of the parking structure. We walked back to our car and left around 10:30 PM. But less than two hours earlier, this happened.

We didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Man, they handle clean-up and damage control better than the fucking mob.

Still the happiest place on Earth… for most,


…which you can read more about here.

Today I found out that Mickey was busy shilling amphetamines in Africa in the 1950s! Learn more about that here.

Mickey’s your pusherman,


Last October, my friend Jorge did me a huge favor by linking this “Sketchbook: Warm Gun” post from his popular blog.

The amount of traffic I received from his link was unlike anything this site had previously seen; the entry was viewed more than 3,000 times in one day alone.

That post has been the most-read entry on “The Blarg” for nearly half a year now, but the post “Mickey Mouse + Suicide =” has been getting steady and consistent daily traffic ever since I posted it last July. A lot of this is in thanks to some linking from a few foreign sites that I can’t read or understand.

Today, “Mickey Mouse + Suicide =” officially surpassed “Sketchbook: Warm Gun” as the most-read story on “The Blarg.” In fact, the suicidal mouse was the first post to break the 6,000-views barrier, clocking in at 6,058 views at the time of this post.

People may like celebrities, but apparently they like suicidal pop culture icons way more.

Goofy just overdosed,


Looking to adopt some cuddly new friends for the holidays? You’re in luck!

You can pick up these two cuties from the Humane Society today!

Meal’s best friend,



Note: Also check out these strips of Mickey Mouse shilling amphetamines in Africa!

I’m reading this new book by author Alix Strauss called Death Becomes Them. It’s an in-depth look into numerous celebrity suicides and a very interesting read, to say the least. The book doesn’t come out until September, and I will do a more detailed review at a later time, but for right now I wanted to talk about a few old comic strips from 1930.

The book briefly mentions a series of Disney comic strips that ran in the daily papers from October 8th through the 24th in 1930. Written and drawn by Floyd Gottfredson, and inked by Gottfredson and Hardie Gramatky, the strips tell the story of a depressed Mickey Mouse as he tries to commit suicide after Minnie leaves him for a huckster named Mr. Slicker.

You can learn more about the full story here.

The best part? Even though Gottfredson was the chief writer of the run (titled “Mr. Slicker and the Egg Robbers”) the idea was conceived and pushed into production by Walt!

“Why don’t you do a continuity of Mickey trying to commit suicide,” he told Gottfredson. “I think it will be funny.”

Funny indeed, Walt!

Back in the thirties, suicide and near-death humor was big; both Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton were constantly putting themselves in danger onscreen, and Walt was a big fan of both silent actors.

There are more of these strips out there, but I could only find four hi-res versions. If you do a quick Google search though you should be able to find more.

Click on each strip to view a hi-res version:

Mickey Suicide #1

Mickey Suicide #2

Mickey Suicide #3

Mickey Suicide #4

M-I-C-K-E-Y D-E-A-T-H,


…the movie “Wristcutters: A Love Story.”

I remember seeing the preview for it a couple years ago, but we came across it last night in the “Free Movies” section on On Demand and decided to finally check it out.

It’s seriously brilliant.

The short of it is this: It takes place in a world where the entire population is made up of people who have committed suicide.

It has everything: life, death, love, Tom Waits, a black hole that exists only under a passenger-side car seat, impossible smiles, Will Arnett, a traitorous dog, and an amazing soundtrack.

I never say this because I usually don’t care about the whole theater experience of seeing a movie, but this is one I regret not having seen in a theater.

And the film’s shining star is actor Shea Whigham who plays Eugene, a failed musician who killed himself onstage by spilling a beer on his electric guitar. I hadn’t heard of Whigham before, and after looking him up online he hasn’t appeared in anything else I’ve seen, but I’m definitely going to be on the lookout for him in the future.

So avoid most of the Oscar-worthy “must sees” this month and instead stay inside with a rental of “Wristcutters.” It’s a feel-good movie. Seriously.

Here’s the trailer:

I’d do it with pills,


…the suicide of a Milwaukee-area DJ named Rock Dee.

Even though it turned out okay, this was absolutely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I’m a master of fart jokes and bad puns, not long-form narrative nonfiction that deals with life, love and death.

Still, I thought I’d share it with you.


Old Poop!