You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Texas’ tag.

Visiting Texans for brunch!

…for coming all the way from Texas just for a quick brunch!

Give our love to Scotty when you get back home!

They were actually in town to visit family… and to see Hamilton,

-Shady

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…for taking us in and showing us a great time during this past weekend’s visit to Dallas/Fort Worth/Arlington.

Hanging in Texas with the Carltons!

Catherine, Jeff, Scotty, Jeffrey, and Jenna (not pictured) are the best!

Your turn to visit us,

-Shady

Where's Shady?!?

…for coming to visit (and meet Grey) all the way from Fort Worth, Texas!

I didn’t show up in the photo… because I’m a vampire,

-Shady

…got kicked out of the Alamo Drafthouse movie theater in Austin, Texas for using her cell phone during a movie.

When she got home she called the theater and left an angry voicemail. Alamo Drafthouse then turned the voicemail into this anti-cell phone ad that they now run before every movie.

Magnited States of Fucking Dumbasses,

-Shady

…will you find Texas watermelons blessed by Jesus sold out of the back of a pickup truck.

Thanks to my dad for shooting this while on vacation,

-Shady

…way to wear your loyalty to the oil industry on your sleeve, douchebag.

I can’t believe you’d publicly kiss the ass of a company that’s currently in the middle of fucking us. Guess you like a little romance with your rape, huh?

Who would have expected something like this from a Texas Republican?!? Not me!

That’s sarcasm,

-Shady

Seriously.

Now hating two states,

-Shady

Dave Crosland (illustrator extraordinaire who I worked with on “Heaven, LLC” and “Bad Ideas”) recently appeared in a webisode of “The Variants,” a comedy web series put together by the fine folks at Zeus Comics in Dallas, Texas.

Dave costarred with “PvP” creator Scott Kurtz.

Check it out here:

Good… but not as good as his Rudy impersonation,

-Shady

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unfortunately, it was a documentary.

Check out the trailer for “Hell House” right here:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Lordy,

-Shady

Dubya,

A few months ago, back when McCain still thought he had a chance, an angry old man took the mic while at a McCain/Palin rally that was being held in Waukesha, Wisconsin. He yelled and screamed about how mad he was, how pissed all conservatives were about what seemed to be an impending Obama win.

If this doesn’t ring a bell, here, check it out for yourself:

Now, what really surprised me about this guy’s comments was how much I could relate to what he was saying. No, I don’t have a fear of the “socialists taking over the country” like this guy clearly does. But I am mad, and have been for eight long years now.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have one ounce of sympathy for this guy or, for that matter, any of the people who feel  they “lost” on November 4th. These people are mad? They’re upset? They’re angry? Good. Welcome to the world I’ve been living in for the past eight years. You and your anger can go have a powwow in Fox News’ parking lot for all I care, because what you’ve been feeling these past two months pales in comparison to the disgust that has been growing inside of me like a parasite for nearly a decade.

And this, George W. Bush, is what you’ve made me. You, your monkeys and your collective blasé attitude towards anyone and anything that truly matters in the world fills me with such contempt for your miserable administration that it almost makes me embarassed to admit it.

Some people dealt with you with shrugged shoulders and a “What you gonna do?” attitude. And granted, for years we did very much the same thing: making fun of your hillbilly nature; poking fun at the fact that you’re barely smart enough to even swallow a pretzel correctly; shaking our heads in disbelief as you stumble and mumble and bumble over words that a sixth grader should know.

After all, you, George W. Bush, are a moron, so it’s been easy to make fun of you as such.

But your days in charge are now over, and you can take your wide-eyed, blank-stare wife with you back to Texas. You’re relieved of your duties.

But before you go, I wanted to give you a little going-away gift; something personal, just from me to you.

The gift I want to give you is my anger; my hatred; my contempt; my belief that people really were stupid enough to re-elect you; my disregard for everything that is good, everything that is meaningful, everything that shines brightly; my apathy, and any other negative thought or ounce of tissue that still exists in me today.

I give it all back to you because I don’t need it anymore. I’ve done what I could with it for these past eight years, and now I think it’s time for you to deal with it.

Tomorrow I will wake up a happier man, George W. Bush. But not as happy as the days when you, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Rice and Rove all leave this mortal coil.

On each of those glorious days I will throw a party for those closest to me, and we will all eat, drink, laugh and talk about how the world is now at least a tiny bit better.

Until then, may you disappear into complete obscurity, realizing little by little with each passing day that you were nothing more than an eight year-long bad joke; a crappy tourist-trap t-shirt; a forgotten cartoon character.

Nothing more.

May you remain that way forever.

Sincerely,

-Justin R. Shady