You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘Thanksgiving’ tag.

It's one shank, Michael. How much could it cost? Ten dollars?

I hate White Power Bill,


Only off by thirty-nine!

…but this is actually my fortieth Thanksgiving.

Oh… that card was for Grey, wasn’t it?

Guess the $5 bill inside wasn’t for me then either,


You just missed Arbor Day....

I know it might seem like I sit at home all day long, drinking whiskey and updating The Blarg, but the truth is I spend much of my day writing.

Lately, most of that writing has been on long-form projects, like screenplays, teleplays, detailed pitches, and (those ever-dreaded) rewrites. The shortest of these projects come in around 30 pages; the longest ones top out around 120.

Because of this, I sometimes take an hour or so to write a short comedic sketch (between one to ten pages) to break up the monotony of those more long-form projects. Over the past couple years I’ve written about a bunch of them; but while they’re fun to write as an exercise, nobody ever really gets to read them.

So to remedy this, I’ve decided to put them out there for everyone to read. I’m doing this for two reasons:

1. I like to share! That, and it’s better than having them sit on my hard drive until I’m dead.

2. It’s my hope that someone out there might be inspired to actually do something with them. Want to film it as a short? Awesome. Interested in animating it? Go for it. Feel like performing it onstage somewhere? I double-dog dare you. All I ask is that you give me credit where it’s due, and (if possible) send me a copy of the final product to check out. I’ll even put it up on The Blarg to share with the four people who visit my site. Hi, Bill Murray!

The sixteenth of Shady’s Shorts is called “Three Holidays Walk Into A Bar…” A few weeks ago, I posted this short Facebook status update:

Dear Christmas,

Back the fuck up.



Those eight words then gave birth to the idea for “Three Holidays Walk Into A Bar…” Download it by clicking below.


Number fifteen,


“Three Holidays Walk Into A Bar…” is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License. Created by Justin Shady, ©2014.
Creative Commons License

…filled with some interesting foods…

I want seconds!





So brutal!

Yeah... bitches.

…great friends…


More friends!

More more friends!

And even more friends!

…and loving family.

Sexy siblings!

Sweet siblings!

Sexy spouses!

Sweet spouses!

When all was said and done, we had 31 humans (28 adults and three kids), two dogs, and two cats crammed in our two-bedroom apartment.

All 31 not pictured here!

And we all sang “Happy Birthday” to Mr. Fabulous as she ate her cake (A.K.A. an entire can of wet food).

Everyone sings to Mr. Fabulous on her ninth birthday!

I like Thanksgiving for all the reasons above, but I also like it because it gives me an excuse to wear a tie.

I love tie.

Alright, Christmas… bring it,


Du and Jade visit Los Angeles!

…including an awesome Thanksgiving Day.

Thanks for visiting, guys!

Next up: Mark and Julius,



May your day be filled with vodka,


…because… honestly, I’m not sure how that happened, but it did.

Anyway, because of this fact, KB and I decided to turn our annual Thanksgiving get-together into a costumed dinner.

The whole gang showed up, including the Doctor and the Captain…

The Doctor and the Captain!

…Liam McPoyle from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Liam McPoyle!

…a Dodger fan…

Dodger fan!


Belle (and a beast)!

…Flula and Jennifer (who poops at parties)

Flula and Jennifer (who poops at parties)!

…and even Kanji got into the spirit by dressing up like a pumpkin.


Oh! And Tio Salamanca from Breaking Bad showed up with his bell!

As for KB and me, we opted for two classics: Gomez and Morticia Addams.

Gomez and Morticia Addams!

KB pulls off a mustache about as well as I pull off heels,


Gobble, gobble, motherfuckers!

Two turkeys in the oven(s),


…came to Thanksgiving dinner last Thursday!

Thanks, Slash!

Not Sludge,


The madness is about to begin!

And happy anniversary to D.B. Cooper,


Old Poop!