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…way back in 2005.

I had completely forgotten about it until I just came across the file on an old computer.

Basically, the piece was a year in review that was done up in a “Where’s Waldo?” type of style. But instead of Waldo, readers were searching for Natalee Holloway, the high school student who disappeared while in Aruba earlier that year.

I was in charge of coming up with all of the “events” that were to be included in the illustration; essentially, this was just a rundown of all the major news stories of 2005. I got the easy end of the deal.

My good friend Jeremy R. Scott, who illustrated “The Lava is a Floor!”, was in charge of the actual illustration which, well… is fucking insane. I think it took him about a billion hours to get it completed. And, funny thing is, I don’t even remember if it ever actually ran in “Cracked.”

We got paid, though. That’s all I give a shit about.

Anyway, I figured I’d post this long-lost freelance gig from 2005 because I honestly don’t think it exists anywhere else, and it’d be a shame for Jeremy to put that amount of time into it and never have it see the light of… the Internet.

Click on the image to view a full version of this monsterpiece:

Cracked's 2005 Year in Review

Still hustling,


this one with yours truly.

For me, the coolest thing about this interview is that it brings my friendship with Mark full circle. We first met back in early 2005, when I interviewed him (along with Erik and Marla) for “Tastes Like Chicken.” You can check out that interview here.

Ah… those were the days.

Anyway, I want to thank Mark, Amy, Ryan, ThirdCoast Digest and WMSE for the opportunity of having all of us take part in this round of interviews.

And just in case you missed them, be sure to check out Mark’s earlier interviews with Jeremy, Dwellephant, and Erik and Marla.

TLC isn’t dead… just different,


…for all the titles of my books, just in case a review gets published without me knowing. Today, I got a link to the video below.

The link was sent to me in regards to my children’s book “The Lava is a Floor!” The video isn’t actually related to the book at all (as is occasionally the case with Google Alerts), but I dug it and wanted to share it with you all.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Pretty cool, man. Pretty darn cool. If work were like that all the time, I’d go out and get a job today.

I don’t wanna grow up,


…starting with Dwellephant right here.

This podcast marks the second in a series of interviews Mark is doing with artist friends of mine. He started off the series by interviewing Jeremy R. Scott of “The Lava is a Floor!” fame. You can check out that interview right here.

Mark has a few more of these lined up, so stay tuned to his blog–“Backstage with Mark Metcalf”–on ThirdCoast Digest. Who knows, someday I might even make an appearance.

What do I want to do with my life,


But this time it wasn’t for our kids book–“The Lava is a Floor!”–but for his upcoming solo book, “P.T.A. Night.”

"P.T.A. Night"

His interview with the website ran in two parts. First, a straightforward interview that you can read here. And second, a step-by-step “making of”–full of character sketches and story outlines–that you can read here.

Be sure to pick up a copy of “P.T.A. Night” when it comes out later this year. You can even pre-order a copy from Amazon today by clicking here.

Also, be sure to check out Jeremy’s personal website here.

Waiting for my free copy,


Check it out here.

Words go here,


Cover of "The Lava is a Floor!"

My newest children’s book, “The Lava Is A Floor!”, is out today!

Be sure to visit your local comic shop and pick up a copy! Or click here to order a copy from Amazon.

This place has everything,


My very good friend Jeremy R. Scott (yes, the very same Jeremy R. Scott who illustrated our upcoming children’s book “The Lava is a Floor!”) just launched the website for his new book, “P.T.A. Night.”

The book will be released by Silverline Books (under the Image Comics/Shadowline Comics banner) this fall.

“P.T.A. Night” is the story of a doomed P.T.A. meeting as it gets invaded by zombies, werewolves and ghosts! Jeremy wrote and illustrated the entire thing on his own, and handled all of the Flash animation on the book’s site.

Click here to check it out for yourself and learn how to order your very own copy. But mostly, check it out to see this picture of Jeremy when he was eleven years old:

Jeremy R. Scott, age 11

Looks like somebody left the car doors open!

Parents, Teachers, Alcoholics,


Featuring photos of:

The “Lost” panel!

The "Lost" panel

Freddie Highmore!

Freddie Highmore

And blacknanas!


Click here to see all of the pics!

Smells like melted butter around here,



…I will be at the San Diego Comic Con on Saturday, July 25th and Sunday, July 26th.

I’ll be signing books (or anything else you care to have my name scribbled on) at the Shadowline/Silverline booth on Saturday from 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM, and on Sunday from 11:00 AM to noon.

There’s also a chance that my sister Bethany, who I collaborated with on an upcoming children’s book, might also be at the table during those same times. So if you’re Con bound that weekend, stop by the booth and meet some Shadys.

These times could change, but if they do I’ll be sure to post updated information as the date gets closer.

Whale’s vagina,


Old Poop!