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…for this new piece in today’s “Variety.” Check it!

Two pieces in one day,


…won the Improv Olympics X-Ecution challenge last night!

After competing with twenty-three other contestants over the span of nearly four months, Dave took home the grand prize: $500 cash, and meetings with casting agents at ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX.

When the contestants got down to the final three they were asked to make a video of a “hero’s journey.” Luckily, that was open to interpretation, and Dave put together this video called “Double Duty.”

The video stars Dave Theune as Detectives Noose and Kelsberg, Mike Kauth as the Police Sergeant, Kurt Scholler (who you might recognize from both a Campbell’s Soup commercial and a guest spot on “The Office”) as the Thug (and Dave’s body double), Chris Garnaas as the Ninja, Brian Allman as the Mayor, and yours truly as the Villain Leader.

Check it out here:

Then check out this sketch between Dave and the other final contestant, Clayton, from last night’s elimination. They’re playing two frat boys in the fraternity Delta Kappa.

And then I give you this clip of Dave and Eddie. One of the challenges last night was to have Dave go out onto Hollywood Boulevard and convince a complete stranger to go inside and perform improv with him. Dave chose Eddie. Thank Christ, because it’s hilarious. The scene takes place in a boot store for strippers. Dave is the customer, Eddie is the employee.

And finally, here’s Dave’s big win.

Dave moved out to L.A. from Milwaukee just this past February and he’s already rocking the improv scene, so be sure to keep an eye out for him in the future. Good things are coming for this kid.

Congratulations, Theune! Remember all us little bastards when you get your own sitcom with Jim Belushi!

Yes, that was sarcasm,



"Inglourious Basterds"

1. I used to love Quentin Tarantino… fifteen years ago. Since then, I have to be honest, I’ve been pretty bored with everything he’s put out. “Jackie Brown” was painful, the “Kill Bill” movies were way too long and masturbatory, and, let’s admit it, his segments in both “Four Rooms” and “Grindhouse” were the worst of the batch. So I approached “Inglourious Basterds” with some hesitation because, well, his track record as of late hasn’t been the best. But with that being said, I can excitedly and honestly now say this: Tarantino is back with his best film since 1994’s “Pulp Fiction.” And the best part is that he’s back doing what he does best: Weaving individual story lines of interesting characters together, with hilarious and brilliant dialogue serving as the glue. Oh, and he’s killing every motherfucker in the room with hyper-violence.

2. My only two gripes:

1) Mike Myers (yes, that Mike Myers) plays a small role in the film as a Brit. He’s in full makeup (including what I’m assuming is a fake nose) and talks with a bad British accent. But while I do like Myers in a handful of movies (“So I Married An Ax Murderer,” “Wayne’s World”), the whole thing just reeks of a clichéd Myers character creation from “Austin Powers.” His placement is awkward, his performance laughable, and not in a good way.

2) Most of the score feels at home in the film, but in one specific scene (don’t worry, I’m not giving spoilers here) David Bowie’s “Cat People (Putting Out The Fire)” is used. Because, you know, nothing says 1940’s World War II-era Germany like a David Bowie tune from 1982. Like Myers cameo, the song sticks out as feeling both out of place and unnecessary.

3. While parts of the movie are wonderfully violent, Tarantino picks and chooses when to show the violence and when not to. The movie’s first scene is extremely tense, and you have a fairly good idea that something is going happen. But in the end, the climax is handled in a way that isn’t typical for Tarantino. Because of decisions like this, the acts of intense violence have much more of an impact.

4. The cast is fantastic. Outside of Brad Pitt and B.J. Novak from “The Office” (and appearance-less cameos from Harvey Keitel and Samuel L. Jackson), the rest of the cast has either done very little acting or appeared mostly in foreign films. Because of this, their performances are extremely believable. We’re not seeing an actor’s interpretation of, say, Joseph Goebbels. We’re seeing Joseph Goebbels. And, man, is he a cocksucker. Whoever handled the casting on this movie should be given some kind of a casting award. Not sure if that actually exists or not, but if it does, they should get it.

5. The ending is amazing. I spent the last five minutes of the movie laughing outloud with giddy pleasure… even though it wasn’t really appropriate. After it was over, I literally whispered to myself with a giggle, “Holy fuck.”

My verdict? Outside of “Up,” this is the best film of the year so far.

The Bear Jew,


Old Poop!