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Tree!
And so are the stockings on the fireplace mantel!

Stockings!

And so are the lights around the staircase!

Lights!

And so are the festive hats on the creepy masks!

Hats!

It’s official. Christmas is coming.

Donald Trump’s second chin is getting fat… ter,

-Shady

Finally.

And we get to enjoy it for exactly three days,

-Shady

CATMAS TREE!

…but something tells me that’s not going to be a problem.

Can’t wait to open them on Christmas morning,

-Shady

Christmas, Christmastime is near...

…or at least that’s what the devil ornament on this plastic tree tells me.

That’s actually one of our more tame ornaments,

-Shady

STOP ALL THE TREE RAPE!

Seriously, what the F?

At least they waited until it cooled off,

-Shady

Christmas Tree 2012!

And so is the penis ornament,

-Shady

Bullshit excuse for a tree.

…that is, until some tree-raping landscapers hacked it to shit.

What in the hell is wrong with this town?

Having to cope with sunlight,

-Shady

…from the tree…

…to the steer horns and creepy mask…

…and, naturally, the shotgun.

Deck the firearms,

-Shady

…looks like, uh… not a tree?

I swear I can even see the outline of a head,

-Shady

Old Poop!