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…and, I gotta be honest, it’s left me feeling like I have very little to say anymore. Or, more accurately, that anything I could say is pretty fucking meaningless when compared to the seriousness of everything that’s going on.

I no longer feel witty or funny or clever. Instead, I feel angry and pessimistic and just so goddamn tired.

All of these reasons are why I’ve been mostly silent here on The Blarg lately. Maybe that’s the right reaction to this insanity. Maybe it’s wrong. I don’t even know anymore.

That said, I’m going to try and update this a bit more regularly. I promise to stick to stupid shit that will hopefully make you laugh. Partly because that’s what I’m best at, but also because I really don’t feel like there’s anything I can say that hasn’t been said already by smarter, more eloquent people.

Hope you’re all staying safe and sane. More soon.

Black Lives Matter,


…in response to this email I received from him last Friday:


I look forward to my daily “Blarg” and it really pisses me off when there is nothing new to read.

I don’t care if it’s a story about Mr. Fabulous farting, Kathy farting… whatever. I need my daily “Blarg!” I thought we would have gotten updates on your anal detox treatment… my bad, annual detox treatment. Just so you know, there are people out here in cyberspace who actually give a fuck about your daily doings. How sad is that?

So get out there and take pictures, post videos, or just write something about nothing. I don’t give a fuck; I’m bored at work.



Sorry for the delay in “Blarg” updates, but I’m really glad to hear that receiving updates on my sometimes senseless and mostly ridiculous life experiences is that important to some people.

You’re right, I do owe you all an update on our most recent detox treatment. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), there was nothing to report this time around. Even though we had to choke down that sludge for seven days in a row, neither Kathy nor I saw any change in our bathroom habits. This is probably due to the fact that the first treatment we did back in 2009 stripped everything out of us… including our intestines.

And now you know!

I promise to never leave you waiting for an update on our bowel movements for that long ever again.

Back in the saddle,


…to the photo page at

Check it here.

Mama, don’t take my Kodachrome away,


…so check it out for yourself here.

Photo ho,


Old Poop!