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Sorry, kids. I just found out that I got a full-time job with a national news agency (FOX News) and part of my contract is that I can no longer maintain a blog or website that features any kind of slant or bias.

I’ll leave the site up for a few more days until I sign the final paperwork, but “The Blarg” will more than likely be gone by early next week.

Thanks for reading. It was fun.



Yesterday, a ton of news outlets picked up the story of Donna Simpson. Click here to learn more.

The short of the story is this: Donna Simpson is currently the world’s 43rd heaviest woman at a weight of over 600 pounds. But everyone knows that being 43rd in something is simply being the 42nd loser, so Simpson is trying to gain an additional 400+ pounds so she can become the world’s heaviest woman.

But here’s the thing: I’m not convinced this story is true. First, no one interviewed her on camera for the story; everything that exists is just a bunch of random quotes that sound fake. Second, all of the news articles say she’s utilizing a website to raise money to fund her gluttony, yet not one of them linked to it. Also, a quick Google search for the site turned up nothing.

I’m calling it now: This is either a headline from “The Onion” or a great prank, and everyone (from “The Huffington Post” to “The New York Post”) is falling for it hook, line and sinker.

Time will tell if I’m right, I guess.

I’d be happy being the 43rd anything in the world,


…check it out here.



This announcement was a little hush-hush for a time, but I can now proudly announce that I am a regular contributor for the new website GeekWeek!

GeekWeek is the project of writer/producer Jeff Katz, and I’m really honored to be included in the family of writers he has on board. The site is your one-stop nerd shop for everything from movies and music to video games and sports. It’s kind of like a few other breaking-news sites out there, but without all of the handouts and payoffs!

I’ve often said that everyone is a geek about something. Personally, I’m a geek for the Muppets, Disney theme parks, and serial killers. But no matter what you’re a geek about, you’ll be able to find up-to-date news on those geeky obsessions at GeekWeek.

Check it out here.

And bookmark it, folks! And keep an eye out for my posts! And be sure to comment on my articles so Jeff knows people are reading them! Exclamation points!

Geeks are the new jocks,


Old Poop!