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…I was feeding our beasts (and looking on as Mr. Fabulous snarled at Heisenberg when she got a little too close to her bowl).

KB, on the other hand, was doing this:

And you get a picture with Oprah! And you get one! And you! And you!

And you get a picture with Oprah! And you get one! And you! And you!

First David Blaine, now this,


I was sitting on the couch while KB was experiencing this.

I wanted him to punch a hole in my chest and pull out a rabbit,


…in response to this email I received from him last Friday:


I look forward to my daily “Blarg” and it really pisses me off when there is nothing new to read.

I don’t care if it’s a story about Mr. Fabulous farting, Kathy farting… whatever. I need my daily “Blarg!” I thought we would have gotten updates on your anal detox treatment… my bad, annual detox treatment. Just so you know, there are people out here in cyberspace who actually give a fuck about your daily doings. How sad is that?

So get out there and take pictures, post videos, or just write something about nothing. I don’t give a fuck; I’m bored at work.



Sorry for the delay in “Blarg” updates, but I’m really glad to hear that receiving updates on my sometimes senseless and mostly ridiculous life experiences is that important to some people.

You’re right, I do owe you all an update on our most recent detox treatment. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), there was nothing to report this time around. Even though we had to choke down that sludge for seven days in a row, neither Kathy nor I saw any change in our bathroom habits. This is probably due to the fact that the first treatment we did back in 2009 stripped everything out of us… including our intestines.

And now you know!

I promise to never leave you waiting for an update on our bowel movements for that long ever again.

Back in the saddle,


…for all the titles of my books, just in case a review gets published without me knowing. Today, I got a link to the video below.

The link was sent to me in regards to my children’s book “The Lava is a Floor!” The video isn’t actually related to the book at all (as is occasionally the case with Google Alerts), but I dug it and wanted to share it with you all.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Pretty cool, man. Pretty darn cool. If work were like that all the time, I’d go out and get a job today.

I don’t wanna grow up,


Old Poop!