Check out this email I just got!

(Note: I’ve left all the horrible punctuation and misspellings exactly as they appear in the email… even though it makes me fucking cringe not to correct it.)

To: undisclosed recipients:
From: Mauren Colman [vivian.03goodluck@yahoo.com]
Sent: Wed 9/9/2009 2:20 PM
Subject: Nice to meet you

Hello

How are you? i hope all is well with you,
i hope you may not know me, and i don’t know who you are,
My Name is Miss Mauren Colman, i am just
broswing now i just saw your Email it seams like some thing touches me
all over my body, i started having some feelings in me which i have
never experience in me before, so i became interested in you, l will
also like to know you the more, and l want you to send an email.
so l can give you my picture for you to know whom l am..

I believe we can move from here!
I am waiting for your mail to my email address above.

(Remeber the distance or colour does not matter but love matters alot in life)
miss Mauren

So… let me get this straight: My email address touched you all over your body, so you decided to email an entire list of undisclosed recipients about it. Is that about right?

Makes sense. I mean, my email address is fucking hot. Just look at how sexy it is: justin@tlchicken.com

Oh… my God in sky, I too am gotten touched all over my body areas, and starting to be having feelings in some of me, to never have experience before ever either. Gorbachev!

Speaking your language,

-Shady