“No, fuckhead, you are not a storyteller.”

So true.

I have his business card,

-Shady

Our good friend Dave Theune plays Supreme Court Justice Stephen G. Breyer…

…in this Funny or Die video.

Sometimes they make good points,

-Shady

So long, Sophie and Orricos!

Thanks for an amazing visit!

Next up: Coulson,

-Shady

I have an awesome manager named Allison…

…who also just happens to be a kick-ass human being, too.

Thanks for the twelve,

-Shady

THE DVD PURGE HAS BEGUN!

Downsizing,

-Shady

I love getting texts from Beth.

Now I’m also thinking about it,

-Shady

This was a $500 meat, fruit, and cheese plate…

…that we CLEARLY didn’t pay for.

I forgot to post this back in February, when it happened.

Ain’t no meat, fruit or cheese that good,

-Shady

Wanna shove pieces of paper under Mr. Fabulous’ eyelids to test her tear production?

No problem.

She’ll literally do anything for a treat,

-Shady

Being an uncle…

…is pretty okay.

It has its perks,

-Shady

GHOST BONER!

It’s now stuck to my phone case,

-Shady