If you know me (or have ever known me, to be honest), you know that I have a long list of insane stories from my past that I tell regularly at parties and get-togethers.

(If you don’t know me, you know now because I just told you.)

More often than not, these stories are told through a haze of alcohol, my arms flailing wildly around the room as I spout off about something or other. Some of these stories involve my childhood. Others are rooted in my high school and college years. And almost all of them teeter that fine line between “Ridiculous” and “Get-The-Fuck-Out-Of-Here Unbelievable.”

For years now, my friends and family have been telling me to write these stories down. And, for just as many years, I’ve put it off. Until now.

Starting in the next few days, I will begin featuring a set of short stories called “Stories To Tell Before I Forget.” These tales are, well… exactly that: True tales from the Shady canon that will now forever be immortalized here on “The Blarg.”

Let me warn you ahead of time: You will not believe all of these stories, and I won’t blame you one bit for doubting their validity. But if my word means anything to you, dear reader, please believe this: Each and every one of these stories are 100% accurate and true.

Or at least as true as I remember them to be.

So keep an eye out for these stories in the coming days. Each story title will be prefaced with “Stories To Tell Before I Forget,” so you’ll know one when you see one.

It’s a good time to get these out. I hope you’ll enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy telling them.

Best,

-Shady