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Long time coming,


PS: Also, the beauty that is this.

…for this birthday gift…

Pretty awesome card...

…from artist Don Picton.

...and even more awesome print.

It really is,


…next to a dumpster of a now abandoned school building behind our place.

From what I can tell, the album documents a 1995 school trip for a class of Chicago high school students who visited a farm and campground in Wisconsin.

Most of the photos are boring (a lot of kids standing around trying to look too cool for school), but a handful of them are amazing. I’ve decided to post these gems one at a time and caption them along the way.

Here’s the first one:

Denise and Brad have now been unhappily married for 19 years.

“Don’t take my picture, Brad!” slurred Denise, who was joyously drunk on a near-lethal mix of Jolt Cola, Cool Ranch Doritos, and Bubble Tape. But as she coyly turned away from him, Denise softly whispered to herself, “Take my picture, Bradley. Take it, process it, print it… and then fall in love with me forever.”

Six more to come,


…is on the tree!

The 2017 Krampus ornament!

It was made by Professional Dreamer Studios out of Janesville, Wisconsin. Check out their Wondercaravan Etsy shop here.

Three and counting,


…but that didn’t stop teachers from giving me some sweet awards over the years.

First, I got this Certificate of Citizenship (whatever that means) from Principal Josie B. Gray and my fourth grade teacher Mrs. Koury of Lowell Elementary in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. This certificate was for “continuous effort” and “development of responsibility,” which you’ll notice are underlined. You may also notice that “good behavior” and “practice of courtesy” are crossed out. Yeah… sounds about right.

Framing that one!

I hit that milestone on June 10th, 1986 at only nine years old. BOOM, Y’ALL!

And on April 23rd, 1990, at the obnoxious age of 13, I got this Certificate of Award (pretty sure that’s not even proper English) for “Acting a Fool in Music Class” from Principal I.M. Nutty of Reform School. Or, more accurately, Mr. Ellington, my chorus teacher at Jackie Robinson Middle School.


I’ve made a living out of acting a fool,


Matt Krings... 22 years later.

We had both just entered the sixth grade at Jackie Robinson Middle School in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. At the time, Matt was eleven years old. I was ten.

We then both went on to attend Riverside University High School on the city’s east side. The last time we saw each other was at graduation in June 1994.

Two weeks ago, we got sushi together.

Matt turns 40 next week. That same fate awaits me this September.

Here’s hoping we don’t wait another 22 years before we hang out again.

Kicking it really old school,


Holy pho-k.

…in New Berlin, Wisconsin.

Only a matter of time before someone makes them change their name,


…for these amazing gifts that included stripper glasses (both male and female), a “Bitch, please. I’m from Chi-Town” coffee mug, a framed Wisconsin puzzle piece, some 4×5 and 120 film (more on that later), and two onesies for Grey.

Gifts from Brandon and Jamie!

In fact, she wore the “Chicago Style” one home from the hospital yesterday.

Grey's first official outfit!

I liked the film best,


…this was happening at 1703 W. Bolivar Avenue in Milwaukee, Wisconsin…

September 1981: 1703 W. Bolivar Avenue, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

…and this was happening at ShowBiz Pizza Place.

September 1981: ShowBiz Pizza Place, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I’ve officially fallen down the old-photo rabbit hole,


It's back.

As fate would have it, last week, KB blindly picked it during a holiday party’s white elephant gift exchange.

It’s now hanging in our living room… behind our front door,


Old Poop!